How to Lose Your Virginity Without Pain (Girls)
Losing your virginity can seem scary, and the range of myths surrounding it doesn't help. While some women may experience pain during their first experience with penetrative sex, you do not have to have a bad time. Talking to your partner and understanding how sex works can help you relax beforehand. By setting the right mood and using the right tools, you can make your first time a positive and even enjoyable experience.
Part One of Three:
Building a Positive Attitude
Make sure you are ready to have sex. Feeling nervous about your first time is normal. If you feel tense when you think about sex or when you and your partner are fooling around, it might be a sign that you should wait. If you have sex when it doesn't feel "right," you may enjoy sex less and become tense during the act.
A lot of people grow up being taught sex is shameful, should be reserved for marriage, and is only to be experienced between a man and a woman. [1] If the idea of sex makes you feel guilty or stressed, maybe you should wait. Try talking to someone about your feelings.
It is normal to feel insecure or unconfident about your body. But if you are scared or cannot be naked because of how you look, it might be a sign that you're not quite ready to be with a partner.
Don't feel ashamed of your sexual preferences. Only you can decide who you're attracted to and what type of sex you want.
Communicate with your partner. Talking with your partner can establish trust while helping you feel more positive about having sex. A good partner should be considerate of your feelings and willing to help you through the process. If your potential partner pressures you too much or makes you feel uncomfortable, reconsider having sex with them.
Talk about birth control and protection before you have sex. You might say, “I’m on birth control, but you’re still going to use a condom, right?”
Let them know what your fears and expectations are and how you're feeling. You might say, “I’m really nervous about it hurting the first time.”
Tell your partner if there’s something you want to try or something you absolutely don’t want to do. For example, you can tell them, “I don’t mind oral sex, but I’m not really into anal.”
If you’re nervous or anxious, let them know. If they dismiss your feelings, it may be a sign that they do not take your concerns seriously.
How to Lose Your Virginity Without Pain (Girls)
Losing your virginity can seem scary, and the range of myths surrounding it doesn't help. While some women may experience pain during their first experience with penetrative sex, you do not have to have a bad time. Talking to your partner and understanding how sex works can help you relax beforehand. By setting the right mood and using the right tools, you can make your first time a positive and even enjoyable experience.
Part One of Three:
Building a Positive Attitude
Make sure you are ready to have sex. Feeling nervous about your first time is normal. If you feel tense when you think about sex or when you and your partner are fooling around, it might be a sign that you should wait. If you have sex when it doesn't feel "right," you may enjoy sex less and become tense during the act.
A lot of people grow up being taught sex is shameful, should be reserved for marriage, and is only to be experienced between a man and a woman. [1] If the idea of sex makes you feel guilty or stressed, maybe you should wait. Try talking to someone about your feelings.
It is normal to feel insecure or unconfident about your body. But if you are scared or cannot be naked because of how you look, it might be a sign that you're not quite ready to be with a partner.
Don't feel ashamed of your sexual preferences. Only you can decide who you're attracted to and what type of sex you want.
Communicate with your partner. Talking with your partner can establish trust while helping you feel more positive about having sex. A good partner should be considerate of your feelings and willing to help you through the process. If your potential partner pressures you too much or makes you feel uncomfortable, reconsider having sex with them.
Talk about birth control and protection before you have sex. You might say, “I’m on birth control, but you’re still going to use a condom, right?”
Let them know what your fears and expectations are and how you're feeling. You might say, “I’m really nervous about it hurting the first time.”
Tell your partner if there’s something you want to try or something you absolutely don’t want to do. For example, you can tell them, “I don’t mind oral sex, but I’m not really into anal.”
If you’re nervous or anxious, let them know. If they dismiss your feelings, it may be a sign that they do not take your concerns seriously.
Find a trusted adult you can talk to. You might feel awkward discussing sex with an adult, but you should at least identify someone you can reach out to for help. This could be a parent, a doctor, nurse, school counselor, or an older sibling. They can give you advice, answer your questions, and provide access to protection. Even if you don't end up talking to them beforehand, you may want to have someone you could contact in case of emergency.
If you feel pressured to have sex, talk to a trusted adult for help. Remember that you never have to have sex unless you want to. No one should pressure you into doing something you don't want to.
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